Learning In August: Thoughts of a Borderline

When I was 8 years old, I went into my parent’s linen closet and took a bag full of pills. I remember going into my bedroom and sitting on the bed. Although I don’t remember what had caused the sadness I felt, it must have been justified. I was 8. I took every pill in the bag. Every one! Then I laid down to die. But I didn’t. I woke up horribly sick. I threw up, then threw up again. Then I went back to sleep. Woke up; threw up again. This happened for the whole next day. Mother Dearest: What’s wrong with you? Laying around all day. You should go to your room? Me: I don’t feel good Mother Dearest: Always excuses. She stomped up the stairs. Did she notice I had been throwing up all day? Did she notice how sad her daughter was? Slowly slipping away. Light dimming. As I rolled to my other side I took a deep breath simply hoping it was my last. I got the strength to go upstairs. Five days later they found the bag empty. Someone had a headache. I confessed. It was me. I was spanked and grounded. No one asked why I wanted to die. Just told me it was wrong. I was wrong. Learning In August: Thoughts of a Borderline is a journey into the mind and emotions of a woman dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder. A journal of life trapped in the darkness of mental illness, abusive relationships and addiction. It highlights the raw reality of life spent in depression. A catharsis of events that lead to low-self esteem, suicide ideation, addiction and the awareness needed to break the patterns of all three. It is a quick dive into how we create our lives and recreate our futures. A memoir to all those who feel they are alone, ashamed and abandoned. You are not alone, just learning who you are. Can she learn how to control her thoughts or will they control her? —- ISBN: 9798332821776