Holy Crap! The World is Ending!: How a Trip to the Bookstore Led to Sex with an Alien and the Destruction of Earth (1)

End Times Are Here! Now you can eat whatever you want and not care if you gain weight. Autumn, a food and wine obsessed ad executive (who for the purpose of this retelling asked to be portrayed as drool-inducing hot with kick-ass ninja skills), has just been handed the task of saving all of humanity. Here’s the deal. The president has just announced that the Earth is going to collide with a rogue moon, and in the process, our entire planet is going to be smashed to bits. As one would expect, upon hearing this news, humans went ballistic. No car was left unrolled—but oddly enough, Taco Bell remained open and made unfathomable profits in the last days. Apparently, Doritos Locos® Tacos were a popular last meal. After drinking a bottle of wine and inhaling a wheel of Brie cheese, Autumn hijacks a spaceship and races to save her fellow humans with the help of her unbelievably sexy alien boyfriend and her kleptomaniac friend with fire-retardant hair. The task is simple enough, just loot the Ark of the Covenant from a secret government bunker under a department store in Arkansas and use it to convince the entire human race to come together in one giant group hug. No problem, right? Along the way, Autumn will discover just how sheltered people are from the truth of extraterrestrials and their power to either protect us or destroy us. Stupid government. Grab a bottle of wine, a spaceship full of snacks, and prepare to take a ride on this humorous chick lit romantic sci-fi paranormal adventure. If you crave a little sexy time in your reading, are into Ancient Aliens, conspiracy theories, UFOs, are curious if we were genetically engineered (like the Sumerian cuneiform texts claim), and are dying to find out the meaning of life, then this book is for you. Awards and Honors Abell was Voted Top 40 of Your Favorite Contemporary Science Fiction Authors by Book Riot Readers 30th Annual IBPA Benjamin Franklin Awards—Silver Winner for Best Science Fiction & Fantasy and The Bill Fisher Award for Best First Book (Fiction) Named one of the top 100 Notable Indies of 2018 by Shelf Unbound Magazine 2018 Next Generation Indie Book Awards – Best Chick Lit Novel – Finalist 2017 William Faulkner–Wisdom Competition – Novel Category– Finalist 2017 – The Southern California Book Festival – Wild Card Category – Honorable Mention —- ISBN: 9781947119024